


McMythology

by Larry_McMund



Category: Original Work
Genre: Mythology - Freeform, comedy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-14 13:20:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13008654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larry_McMund/pseuds/Larry_McMund
Summary: Many people have asked the same question over the years: "How was the universe created?". Well, this is my idea and the subsequent happenings. You can make a religion out of this!





	McMythology

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this well over a year ago and it's pretty terrible. No clue why I've decided to post this. Also don't expect me to continue this cause I can hardly read it without cringing at how bad it is, I didn't even bother looking through it for errors other then a quick spell check so ya, errors all the way. If for some reason you still plan to read this uh, good luck.

Story 1:  
In the beginning there was nothing.  
Then Zary McMund came into existence.  
Zarry used it's unlimited power to make peace throughout the entire universe.  
Zarry was very proud of this achievement until he realized that only itself existed, making it not very impressive...  
Zarry created Planet JSIF-807. He populated this planet with life to his imaginations content.  
Zarry's imagination wasn't the best so it only managed to make 2 life forms, the McMund Animal and the McMund Plant.  
Zarry then created the Omega Cube which contained the power to rude over the entire universe as Zarry was fairly lazy...  
After several years Zarry got board of this fairly bland universe of only itself, planet JSIF-807, and the Omega Cube.  
Zarry desired a better universe, but didn't have the ability itself. Zarry decided to give up and he destroyed planet JSIF-807 and fell into a deep slumber until a new omnificent being came into existence  
End of the first story.

Story 2:  
Zarry believed that eventually another omnificent being would come in a meer century, but that didn't happen.  
1 century passed, then 2 then 5...  
After 20 millennium, (that's 20,000 years) a time Zarry never expected to come, the Omega Cube was starting to get unstable...  
Cracks started to form, fractures ripped across the surface. The limitless power of the Cube (or so thought Zarry) was fading.  
After 25 millennium, 2 centuries, 3 decades, 9 years, 7 months, 2 weeks, 1 day, 19 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds, the Cube collapsed in onto itself.  
The result was a cataclysmic explosion that affected... nothing considering the empty universe and ZZarrys immunity to anything aside from divine power.  
But from dust, clouds formed, and from clouds, clumps formed. 3 main clusters formed along with 7 smaller lumps of dust.  
The larger clusters formed into the Omega McMunds; Larry: the McMund of stability, Marry: the McMund of peace, and Jerry: the McMund of hatred, evil, and war.  
End of the second story.

Story 3:  
The seven smaller lumps formed from the dust of the Omega Cube formed the minor McMunds:  
Parry McMund: The McMund of happiness and fun. Woman  
Darry McMund: The McMund of good health. Man  
Barry McMund: The McMund of warmth. Woman  
Perry McMund: Parry McMund's counterpart, the McMund of sadness and boredom. Man  
Derry McMund: Darry McMund's counterpart, the McMund of sickness and corruption. Woman  
Berry McMund: Barry McMund's counterpart, the McMund of cold. Man  
Qogdon McMund: The McMund of the unknown, mysteries, and chaos.  
All 10 McMunds were attracted to the their creator, Zarry McMund. Larry, Marry, and Jerry were the first to find Zarry as they were the largest  
The 3 Omega McMunds tried and failed to wake Zarry from its deep slumber many times. Everything from punching him in the face to singing, nothing worked.  
After around a century, the 7 minor McMunds arrived. Even with the combined power of the 10 McMunds couldn't wake Zarry from his slumber.  
End of the third story.

Story 4:  
After about a century, 98 years, 11 months, 8 days, 17 hours, 1 minute and 27 seconds to be specific, the McMunds gave up their obviously futile attempts.  
The McMunds finally started paying attention to the others. The Minor McMunds immediately hated their counterparts, excluding Qogdon McMund as it was without a counterpart.  
Larry got along fairly well with all the Minor McMunds and the Omega McMunds. Jerry and Marry also oddly seemed to not hate each other.  
Jerry quickly found friends with the E Minor McMunds (Perry, Derry, and Berry) and Marry got along with the A Minor McMunds (Parry, Darry, and Barry).  
The A and E Minor McMunds quickly started fighting. They asked their Omega friends to help in the battle. Larry being the McMund of stability and Marry being the McMund of peace were both horrified by the Minor McMunds lack of self control.  
But Jerry was just the opposite. He granted the E Minor McMunds weapons and potions to make them stronger.  
Marry quickly got wind of Jerry's plan and started giving the A Minor McMunds magical shields to protect themselves and did all she could to calm them down, but nothing she did helped.  
Larry watched as the Minor McMunds fought among themselves, ashamed. How could he come from the same thing as these uncivil fools?  
Larry tried to stop the Omegas from helping the Minors but just found resentment from his fellow Omegas.  
Larry then asked the Minors to stop their ridiculous fighting but they didn't seem to hear him, as if some force was blinding them, forcing them to ignore him and keep fighting.  
Larry found himself staring into the battle, uselessly watching the fight. He was thinking, thinking of how this can be stopped.  
End of the forth story.

Story 5:  
Larry decided he had waited long enough after 3 years, 2 months, 5 days, 1 hour, and 43 minutes of the Minor McMunds fighting.  
He decided to try and finally figure out his own staff. Larry came upon the fighting McMunds and a bizarre feeling came to him, knowledge, he knew exactly what to do with the staff, he apmed the gem at the nearest McMund, Berry McMund, and suddenly he was inside Berry's mind.  
All Larry found was darkness. After about an hour of flouting in the nothingness, he found a strange blob of some bizzare matter, it seemed to be being destroyed though. He tried touching it but it seemed to be covered in some kind or barrier.  
He aimed his staff at the barrier and shot a powerful bolt of power. The barrier shattered and the blob was exposed. Larry realized the blob wasn't being distorted at all, it itself was shifting bizarrely. Larry stabbed his staff into the blob and it started to shrink.  
The gem on the end of his staff was absorbing whatever the blob was. Larry decided this needed a name, he called the unknown gem on his staff an Omega Gem. The blob he decided to call a "Blob of Omega Power".  
Right after the last of the Blob of Omega Power was gone everything started going from black to light blue. Larry decided his job was done and left Berry's mind. When Larry got back to the normal world he found Berry standing there as if he just woke from a long slumber.  
"What happened?" Berry asked looking to Larry for guidance.  
"I'm sorry, I haven't a clue. Fear not, I will save all of you and find out what has happened." said Larry.  
End of Fifth story.

Story 6:  
Larry went from Berry to each of the other Minor McMunds. All of them acted as if they woke up from a long slumber, completely unaware of what they have done for the past 3 years.  
Larry had just got done healing the 6th Minor McMund when he realized he hasn't seen Qogdon McMund in the war. Larry set out to find Qogdon, perhaps he had some knowledge of what was happening.  
The Minor McMunds were still stun when he set out to find Qogdon so he didn't feel they would do anything for a while. Larry searched the unknown for several hours until he decided to console his fellow Omega McMunds.  
Larry came to the meeting place of the Omegas, only to find Marry sitting there terrified looking. "Marry?" Larry asked "Are you ok? Where's Jerry?"  
Marry looked at him and sead "Jerry when mad! He attacked me! I don't even know what happened. We were friends... Once you started healing Parry (the 4th McMund Larry healed) Jerry just randomly came up to me and attacked."  
"What did he do? You are OK right?" Larry asked.  
"That doesn't matter right now, you must find Jerry! It ran that way." Marry said pointing away from wear the fighting took place.  
"OK i'll find Jerry and figure out what happened."  
So Larry set out to find Jerry. He found Jerry standing completely still, to still. "Jerry?" Larry asked. Jerry slowly turned around and to Larry's horror, Jerry's eyes were pure black. "Jerry, are you ok?". Right after he asked that Jerry charged him.  
Jerry tackled Larry and started reaching for his staff. "JERRY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Larry shouted. Jerry took no head and continued for Larry's staff. Larry aimed his staff at Jerry and shot a bolt. Jerry toppled over grounding. Larry did the only thing he could think of, he when into Jerry's mind like he did the Minor McMunds.  
Larry never could have expected to find his original target...  
End of the sixth story.

Story 7:  
Its time... Yes, the Minor McMunds are fighting and Larry is distracted with trying to stop the fighting. Jerry is the perfect target for my plan. I will destroy Larry and all he stands for.  
I found my Sigma Gems when the foolish McMunds wure trying to wake the fat fool Zarry. They wure to focused on Zarry to notice me flying around the remained parts of the Omega Cube.  
The Sigma Gems are the left over power of the letters in the Cube. I somehow formed out of this letters too... How? I still am asking myself.  
The Minor McMunds wure simple enough to infect with my power, all I had to do was smash a Sigma gem by each of them... it took so much precision but It was surprisingly simple. Now Jerry will be a problem... I have shattered to many of my Sigma Gems by him and he still seems unaffected...  
I will convince him I am whats right for him, no matter how loyal he is to Larry, he can't refuse the deal i am giving him. I smashed one of my Sigma Gems and was instantly teleported in front of Jerry.  
"Hello Jerry" I sead  
"Qogdon? Where have you been? In fact no one knows anything about you... Why?" Jerry asked  
"That's not important now... I am hear to give you an offer you can't refuse. An offer that will help you win this war and any war from henceforth."  
"I'm listening" Jerry said, the fool, how easy is it to manipulate It?  
"I have power that can make you stronger than any being in the universe, stronger than Larry."  
"Stronger than Zarry?"  
"Much stronger" I said accidentally let a sly smile fall upon my face.  
"What do you have in mind?"  
"Merely let me into your mind like the Minor McMunds have."  
"You are the one causing this war?"  
"O yes, they all saw my power, but they are to week for me, with you I will be the most powerful being!"  
"Did you say "I"? i don't want to be apart of you... i want to be my own" Damit... i let a detail of my plan slip...  
"You must have misheard me, i said "We", we will be powerful together."  
"... OK fine... what do i have to do..."  
"Just empty your mind" YES! Will it really be this simple? He is far more foolish the ni ever could have hoped for! YES!!!! It has opened its mind to me! I rushed into him mind and started shattering my Sigma gems.  
In a mear minute i had him under my control. "Your mine Jerry, you are a fool"  
End of the seventh's story.

Story 8:  
Larry stood there stunned to see Qogdon. Qogdon turned its head and gave Larry a sly smile. "Whats going on Qogdon? Why is Jerry acting like this?" Larry asked.  
"You fool Larry... you still haven't figured me out?" it asked slyly. "Jerry is mad with chayos. I have planted so much unstable energy within it, Jerry can't help but to act upon my command"  
Larry didn't know what to say, he stood there completely dumbfounded. "You have done this? To Jerry? To the Minor McMunds?" Larry was horrified. "How could you have done this!?"  
"It's in my nature... I am acting upon my own ambitions, Zarry created the Omega Cube without the knowledge of putting me within it..." Qogdon lafed "Zarry was almost as much of a fool as you Larry"  
"If you think you can get away with this your wrong, I have healed the other's and i will heal Jerry, and i will get rid of you" Larry sead.  
"Not happening Larry. I may not have known about your staff's gem but I will still defeat you and all you stand for, give up now."  
"Not on my life..."  
"Very well, goodbye" Qogdon sead with a grin.  
"Your not going anywhere"  
"O but Larry, I've already gotten away." Qogdon said "Ingolf him in my Omega Power!"  
At that moment Larry was covered by Blobs of Omega Power. Larry's staff started absorbing the Blobs but not quickly enough. Larry heard a smash followed by a loud bubbling sound. Once the Omega Gem finished absorbing the Blobs Larry found nothing but deep red everywear.  
Larry pondered where the Blobs of Omega Power came from, then he realized, there were Blobs all around him and Qogdon, he was to stupid to realize it. Larry walked to wear Qogdon stood, but nothing was their. Larry saw nothing wrong with Jerry's mind so he left.  
He came out to find Jerry laying down screaming in pain "HOW COULD I HAVE LET THAT HAPPEN?!?!" Jerry screamed.  
"Calm down Jerry, tell me what happend." asked Larry.  
End of the seventh story

Story 9:  
"Jerry?" Larry asked "JERRY!" Larry ran over to it and grabbed him. "JERRY! WAKE UP!" Jerry was completely unresponsive. Larry lifted Jerry and quickly went back to the meeting point of the McMunds.  
When Larry got to the rest of the McMunds he saw Marry guiding them into a group, obviously still confused. "MARRY! Jerrys hurt or something, he's not responding!"  
"I can help him." Darry! Of course! Larry laid Jerry by Darry and Darry started looking him over. "I don't think Jerry is really hurt, its just vary exhausted."  
"Thank Zarry its ok" Larry sead. "When do you think he will wake?"  
"It's hard to say considering i don't know what Jerry has been doing the past 3 years..."  
"How do you know its been 3 years?" Larry asked.  
"Marry filled us in on what has happened for the past 3 years... i can't believe such a think happened... How?" sead Berry.  
"I think i may have something to do with Qogdon" Larry sead. All the Minor McMunds shuddered at the name. "What? Did it control you too?"  
"No, it attacked us and implanted something in us... I can't remember anything after that, sorry" It was Perry speaking now.  
"Its ok, can all of you confirm that?" Larry asked. All the Minor McMunds noded. "great... We have a monster among us..." Larry shuddered at the thought, could Qogdon do it again? It didn't matter, if anyone was attacked they would know to come to him right away.  
"I was thinking," it was Berry speaking, "We should probably make somewhere for us to stay, i'm shur all of us have something it we would like to be doing alone, right?" All the other Minor McMunds noded.  
"I was just thinking that! I already have an idea for a creature that we could use to create structures" Marry sead  
"Is that why you've been so quiet, you haven't sead a thing since i got hear." Larry sead  
"Sorry, I was focusing on it too much i guess... Anyway" Marry used some of divine power to create a tiny human like thing.  
"A bit small isnt it?" Derry asked.  
"O yes, i will make a lot, they will not get in our way if they are small" Marry said grinding.  
"Brilliant Marry, thanks!" Larry sead.  
"Not a problem." Marry sead as she started to make thousands of the little people "What could we call them?"  
"How about The Argons?" suggested Perry.  
"Anyone have any disagreements with that?" Marry asked. Most of the McMunds shook their heads. "Very well it is settled, Argons! Get into 8 groups and follow one of the McMunds around us, do as they say." The Argons jumped up and down in joy.  
The Argons when with each McMund to build a house for each. Darry's house was built to double as a hospital.  
End of 9th story

Story 10-1:  
"Im sorry Larry..." I sead. How long have i been asleep? My head is killing me! What has happened?!  
"Its ok Jerry, just stay calm and don't try to get up yet, please." Who's voice is that? "I will go get Larry if you want me to or if you want you can wait till you are feeling better"  
"No... I need to talk to Larry now" I said, trying to get up. A hand pushed me down, I didn't even realize how weak he was.  
"I hope you said you want him because I'm getting him. Parry, come and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" sead the voice.  
Perry? Good he will get me out of here, wherever hear is. "Alright i'll be right over" Another voice Jerry didn't recognize. It must be the A Minor Parry... DAMIT! I need to talk to Larry! Wait, didnt the other voice say he was going to get Larry? Why can't i remember?  
"Are you hungry?" asked Parry.  
I said "I'm starving"  
"Still can't talk? That's ok I'll get you something anyway, you're probably starved after sleeping for 5 days." sead Parry. 5 days!? i've been asleep for 5 days?! what happened?  
"What do you mean I can't talk?" I sound fine to me.  
"Calm down" sead Parry "All your doing is moaning, i can't understand a thing..."  
Great... How can i tell Larry about Qogdon if i can't talk!  
"Jerrys right over hear" the voice from before sead distancely  
"Are you sure Jerry is ready?" LARRY! I need to talk to him! I tried getting up again only to get pushed back down.  
"Darry! Jerry's going crazy over hear i can't hold him down much longer!" Darry? Isn't he the McMund of good health? I need to get to know the A Minor McMunds better...  
"I don't think he's ready to talk... maybe you should go..." sead Darry  
"NO" I tried shouting  
"Alright, Probably a good idea to let him rest for another day" Larry said, Clearly no one understood me...  
After about an hour later i gave up struggling against Darry and Parry. They got me some food, slime stuff, I didn't even need to chew it... Look at me... The McMund of war being feed slime...  
The rest of the day when by uneventful, I ate, slept, and finally Darry and I started working on my talking. After about 5 hours of mumbling i could finally say a full sentence.

Story 10-2:  
"Ok you think you can talk to Larry yet?" asked Darry.  
"I think i can manage" I said, i did feel much better.  
"Ok I'll go get him. Parry, come keep him calm"  
"I don't need a supervisor..." I sead.  
"Yes you do Jerry." Parry was already hear...  
About 10 minutes later Larry came in. "You ok?" Larry asked. "I think I can handle him Parry, you can go" Parry left and so it was just me and Larry.  
"I'm fine... I know that's not why you hear, you dont chair about my health..."  
"Stop being so stubborn, ofcourse I chair about your health, you and I are sibling."  
"Please..." I seas sarcastically  
"Ok fine, since you dont chair for small talk, what happened to you? Why did you attack me? How did Qogdon get into your mind?"  
"Can we take it one question at a time? Still not feeling the best..." I sead  
"Ok Jerry, how did Qogdon get into your mind?"  
"It prompted me power... Qogdon said i could have the power to overthrow even you... You have to understand, i wasn't thinking straight, my mind was in a muddle when he asked me... For some reason i felt like just destroying everything... It sead if i let It in my mind It would help me become the most powerful being in the universe... stronger than even Zarry..."  
"You know that's not possible..." sead Larry.  
"Yes i know that now, but like i said i couldn't think normally... I let him into my mind and he trapped me in a mental prison... At first all i heard was crashing of glass or something... It was so loud. After only a mear minute i found myself in a cage of some dark blob I couldn't break out of... I sat in that cage for a year... I don't remember anything my body did..."  
"Qogdon had control of your body? How is that possible..."  
"I don't know... I heard you come. I heard you talking to Qogdon, you and Qogdon wire in a huge blob of the dark stuff."  
"They are called Blobs of Omega power."  
I scolded him, "It doesn't matter, I heard Qogdon say "Ingolf him in my Omega Power!" and al-"  
"WAIT! You understood that?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"All i heard was jiberish... it didn't make any sense to me..."  
"Odd... it sounded normal to me, well, normal english... Anyway all the Blobs when around him and surrounded you. He took out one of his gems and smashed it. The fragments formed Blobs of Omega Power and they engulfed him and then he disappeared... I saw your staff absorbing the Blobs and then I was laying on the ground screaming... Thats all i got Larry. Sorry" I finished.  
"No, its ok... But all you did was raze more questions..." Larry looked perplexed "I'm going to go ahead and leave you to recover, later."  
I sighed. "Fine... good luck Larry"  
End of the tenth story.

Story 11:  
Many years massed without anything happening. The McMunds looked all over the universe for Qogdon but found nothing of him. The McMunds have collectively agreed Qogdon is no longer a McMund for its crimes. Larry decided he has had enough of nothing so he decided to organize all of the McMunds, excluding Qogdon of course.  
Larry created a council of the McMunds calling it the McMund Council. The Council met to discuss searches for Qogdon but Larry had more plans for it in the future. The Council had a voting system, the Omega's vote counted for 2 and the Minor's counted for 1.  
"So... after looking through the universe i feel it is horibly boring... nothing for millions of light years... Everything in the universe can be seen right from my balcony..." Larry announced.  
"What do you feel can be done about it?" Barry asked.  
"Well, the omega gem on my staff isn't just for helping control Omega power, it has vast amounts of knowledge, including knowledge of the past." Larry spoke.  
"Are you talking about things like the time of Zarry?" Marry asked.  
"Yes, I have an understanding of Zarry beyond anything we could know otherwize."  
"Ok so as Barry sead, what are we going to do about the empty universe?" Perry asked.  
"Zarry made a planet, he made a planet and 2 species of animals as we all know, well i think all of us together would easily be able to made a vast universe full of life" Larry explained. The other McMunds nodded in agreement.  
"Shouldn't we be more focused on finding Qogdon? We shouldn't be giving it even more places to hide" Jerry sead, a few of the others nodded in agreement.  
"Well be shal put it to a vote" Larry sead. "All in favor of us creating a universe raze your hand." Larry, Marry, Barry, Derry, and Perry razed their hands. "Then it is settled, we will work on creating a universe to rule over."  
The McMcunds worked quickly, making millions of galaxies. They created uncountable numbers of planets but they decided to focus on only one to create life upon as a whole universe of creatures could never be kept peaceful.  
The planet they decided to focus on was a small rocky planet in the Milky Way Galaxy. The planet is covered in mostly water with some land and its atmosphere has a unique blend of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide and a few other things. The unique atmosphere is to prevent any life on this planet from spreading. The planet is called Epsilon.  
The McMunds decided not to force life upon the planet as Zarry did, they merely manipulated atoms to form the first small bacteria. The McMunds simply had to wait.  
"We should have some way to watch it grow" Marry sead.  
"Of course, we will have the Argons build a platform in the orbit of the planet" Larry answers. "We shall call it Mesonoxian."  
So it was the Argons set out to make Mesonoxian, It was to be large enough to hold all of the McMund's homes and give them plenty of room to watch the planet. The Argons worked many tireless hours to create it. When Mesonoxian was done, it covered the entire out the planet. Larry enchanted Mesonoxian with his staff to make it completely non tangible unless one is inside it. The McMunds needed a way to get on it so Larry made it real for 5 minutes at the dead of midnight.  
End of the eleventh story.

Story 12:  
Epsilon quickly grew, many different life forms came into being. Thousands of different plants and animals.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, I did say I'd never complete this but I may end up rewriting it or something. Don't know. Also if you're wondering why it is so weirdly spaced that's because it was originally made to be copy and pasted into a game on a phone... ya...


End file.
